Friday, October 04, 2002

Followup: Whitehouse without Humour

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The White House scorned an Iraqi leader's suggestion that President Bush and Saddam Hussein could resolve their differences in a duel, calling it an "irresponsible statement" that did not justify a "serious response."

I guess it's difficult to see the humour in a situation when you're the aggressor.

posted by Andy Buchanan at 9:34 AM

Thursday, October 03, 2002

Iraqi Vice President Not Without Humour

Iraqi Vice Presient, Taha Yassin Ramadan suggested that Bush & Saddam should just duel it out. Said in Jest, but the true irony is of course that this would be a much preferable option to the murder of (hundreds of) thousands of innocents. Who's going to propose this to the UNSC though?

Taha Yassin Ramadan said the duel could be held at a neutral site and with U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan as the referee.

Ramadan, wearing a green uniform and a black beret, made his remarks without giving any outward sign that he was joking although reporters who were present detected a note of irony in his voice

"A president against a president and vice president against a vice president and a duel takes place, if they are serious, and in this way we are saving the American and the Iraqi people," Ramadan told the Associated Press Television Network.

Iraq has two vice presidents, and Ramadan did not say whether he or Taha Muhie- eldin Marouf would take on Dick Cheney.

posted by Andy Buchanan at 5:03 PM

Infuriatingly addictive word game

Bookworm is an infuriatingly addictive word game. Give it a go, but be warned.... it's infuriatingly addictive!

posted by Andy Buchanan at 4:34 PM

Funniest Joke Ever

Laugh Lab have annouced the results of thier search to find the funniest joke in the world. Here's the first winning entry

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"

and the runner up

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

posted by Andy Buchanan at 4:31 PM

Wednesday, October 02, 2002

"Don't Attack Iraq" Speeches

For those that failed to make it to the march in London on Saturday (28th), here are mp3's of the speeches.

posted by Andy Buchanan at 4:01 PM

The First Remote Control

[Via email]

posted by Andy Buchanan at 3:06 PM

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

More Words

I found some more Words, for example:

Rapture
"When the rapture comes, some people are going to float right off into heaven." This guy Michael (not Mike or Mikey) who lives in my building was talking to me as I grilled a steak or two on the front porch. "But, you can't get into heaven wearing your clothes, right? So they're going to leave their clothes behind." He looks up. "So maybe, it is already happening. You see pants on the sidewalk, shoes in trees, and you don't think anything of it". A bloodshot eye pins me to my steak. "So next time you see a pair of jeans that some indonesian kid was paid a nickel to make laying on the ground, look up. You might see a naked dude floating above you." That was the last time I talked to Michael. He kind of disappeared soon after. I wonder if he still has his pants.

posted by Andy Buchanan at 11:01 AM

Bloody Long Words...

Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism (30 letters)
a condition in which all the symptoms of pseudohypoparathyroidism are present but the patient's response to parathyroid hormone is normal. It is often found in families affected with pseudohypoparathyroidism.

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedalian (30 letters)
qualities pertaining to a long word...and you need a long word for that description

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (34 letters)
It is believed that the movie "Mary Poppins" coined the word, however it is really a term regarding Irish whores. The exact meaning is still a mystery...

Pseudoantidisestablishmentarianism (34 letters)
It is the false opposition to someone who is against people being against the establishment (Church, school, nation,state)

Praetertranssubstantiationalistically (37 letters)
An adverb used in the novel "Untimely Ripped" (1963), by Mark McShane...as I have no intention of reading the book, I couldn't tell you its actual meaning...

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis (45 letters)
A lung disease caused by breathing in certain particles. Also called Miners Disease, the two word description is much easier to handle.This is the longest "natural" word found in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Osseocarnisanguineoviscericartilagninonervomedullary (52 letters)
Coined by Thomas Love Peacock in his story from 1816 called "Headlong Hall"...again I have no intention of investigating it further, why novellists need to make such long words is anybodys guess. I can understand it in medical terms, doctors always invent new ways to confuse the patient, just like IM departments and their userbase. If I came accross a word like that in a book, I would burn it...

Aequeosalinocalcalinoceraceoaluminosocupreovitriolic (52 letters)
Invented by Dr. Edward Strother to describe the spa waters at Bath, England.

Lopadotemachoselachogaleokranioleipsanodrimhypotrimmatosilph-ioparaomelitokatakechymenokichlepikossyphophattoperisteralek-tryonoptekephalliokigklopeleiolagoiosiraiobaphetraganopterygon (182 letters)
English transliteration of a 170-letter Greek word that appears in the Greek playwrite Aristophanes' comedy "The Ecclesiazusae"....Don't ask, don't know. 182 letters indeed, pleb....

Orniscopytheobibliopsychocrystarroscioaerogenethliometeoroau-strohieroanthropoichthyopyrosiderochpnomyoalectryoophiobotan-opegohydrorhabdocrithoaleuroalphitohalomolybdoclerobeloaxino-coscinodactyliogeolithopessopsephocatoptrotephraoneirochiroo-nychodactyloarithstichooxogeloscogastrogyrocerobletonooenosc-apulinaniac (311 letters)
Found in Ripley's "The Omnibus Believe It Or Not", published in 1931.
This word was used by medieval scribes to refer to "a deluded human who practices divination or forecasting by means of phenomena, interpretation of acts or other manifestations related to the following animate or inanimate objects and appearances: birds, oracles, Bible, ghosts, crystal gazing, shadows, air appearances, birth stars, meteors, winds, sacrificial appearances, entrails of humans and fishes, fire, red-hot irons, altar smoke, mice, barley, salt, lead, dice, arrows, hatchet balance, sieve, ring suspension, random dots, precious stones, pebbles, pebble heaps, mirrors, ash writing, dreams, palmistry, nail rays, finger rings, numbers, book passages, name letterings, laughing manners, ventriloquism, circle walking, wax, susceptibility to hidden springs, wine and shoulder blades."
311 f**king letters, I am sorry but that guy needs a boot up the arse with a tissue-covered-steel-toecap-boot because he definitely suffers from verbal Diarrhea

posted by Mark Matheson at 9:12 AM

Monday, September 30, 2002

Obscure systems for predicting the future

Aeromancy: Divination by cloud shapes. Alectryomancy:Divination by allowing a bird to peck grains of corn from letters of the alphabet. Apantomancy: Divination by chance meetings with animals. Capnomancy: Divination by the study of smoke ring patterns rising from a fire. Causimomancy: Divination by the study of objects placed in a fire. Cromniomancy: Divination by finding significance in onion sprouts. Hippomancy: Divination based on the stamping of horses. Onychomancy: Divination by studying the patterns of fingernails in sunlight. Phyllorhodomancy: Divination by listening to the sounds made by slapping rose petals against the hand. Tiromancy: Divination by cheese.