Friday, August 09, 2002

US Airport Security Insanities Peaking yet? .....Nope

It seems that US Airport Security Insanities are still on the rise, if this ridiculous tale of a travelling Mum forced to drink her own breast milk, is anything to go by.

Kuby said, "I'm all for random searches . . . but I do think the number of Caucasian, lactating mothers who have passed through al Qaeda training camps is negligible."

Sounds to me like the security guard in question is need of a slap.

posted by Andy Buchanan at 12:53 PM

Tom brightened up my morning by passing this unattributed newsclipping along:
newsclipping, plain text version linked below

plain text version
I do believe I giggled at this, tittered too.. probably

posted by Andy Buchanan at 10:06 AM

Jerry Springer the Opera

"It's got tragedy. It's got violence. There are people screaming at each other and you can't understand what they are saying. It's perfect for opera," Thomas said of the show whose lurid topics have ranged from "Honey I'm a Call Girl" to "Bring on the Bisexuals."

Yahoo reports on British composer Richard Thomas's new venture, but notes that it's eventual fate at least in the US is currently in the hands of the lawyers.

"It depends on a huge multi-million dollar industry and their lawyers," he said. "If they want to crush us like a bug, they probably could."

posted by Andy Buchanan at 9:53 AM

Thursday, August 08, 2002

Another stupid quiz

More stupid than most. Go take the "Which Finger am I?" test

You are the good ol' thumb! You are the family one, the one who not necessarily everyone loves but the one who everyone can't live without. Always willing to lend a hand or comfort a friend when they need it.

posted by Andy Buchanan at 5:39 PM

Relive the Horror:

Lyric courtesy of the seemingly now defunct Chart of the Flops, but possible via the magic of the Wayback Machine.

Keith Harris and Orville

Orville: I wish I could fly way up to the sky but I can't,
Keith: You can,
Orville: I can't!
Orville: I wish I could see what folks see in me but I can't,
Keith: You can,
Orville: I can't!
Keith: Look, Orville,
Orville: Yes?
Keith: Nothing that you can say
Will change how I feel today:
I know that we'll never part;
Now hear what I'm saying, Orville?
Orville: Yes?
Keith: Who is your very best friend?
Orville: You are.
Keith: I'm gonna help you mend your broken heart.
Orville: Thank you.

Orville: I wish that I had a mummy and dad but I don't,
Keith: You don't?
Orville: I don't!
Orville: I often pretend my sadness will end but it won't,
Keith: It will,
Orville: I won't!
Keith: Look, Orville,
Orville: Yes?
Keith: Now that I'm here with you,
There's nothing that you can't do,
So why don't you make a start
And hear what I'm saying, Orville?
Orville: Yes?
Keith: Who is your very best friend?
Orville: You are.
Keith: I'm gonna help you mend your broken heart.
Orville: Ahhh...
Orville: So does this mean although I'm green
And not exactly bright,
You want to care and will be there
To tuck me in at night?
Keith: Well, I'll always be there, Orville!

Orville: The other birds laugh and say that I'm daft and I am,
Keith: You're not!
Orville: I am!
Orville: They tease me a lot and call me a clot and I am,
Keith: You're not!
Orville: I am!
Keith: Look, Orville?
Orville: Yes?
Keith: Nothing that you can say
Will change how I feel today:
I know that we'll never part;
Now hear what I'm saying, Orville?
Orville: Yes?
Keith: Who is your very best friend?
Orville: You are.
Keith: I'm gonna help you mend your broken heart.

[Spoken]
Orville: Thank you. 'Cos I've got a broken heart, haven't I?
Keith: Yes, I know, but I'm going to help you mend it.
Orville: You, you will do it, won't you. You'll help me?
Keith: Of course.
Orville: 'Cos you love me, don't you?
Keith: We all love you, Orville.
Orville: How, how, how much do you love me?
Keith: Ooh... this much!
Orville: As much as that?
Keith: Yeah.
Orville: Ahhh... my broken heart.

Don't ask me why I needed to find this.

posted by Andy Buchanan at 5:21 PM

RIP Professor Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

I've only just heard that Computer programming guru and father figure Professor Edsger Wybe Dijkstra died on Tuesday. Sad. Obituary

posted by Andy Buchanan at 12:39 PM

Dictator Trumps!

Play Top Trumps with Dictator Cards! Bloomin genius! Speaking of Top Trumps, I saw this mad idea over here at half-bakery.

posted by Andy Buchanan at 10:29 AM

Wednesday, August 07, 2002

Testing, Testing

Somethings gone blog strange again, um... hello! whoo-hooo....hmmmmm

posted by Andy Buchanan at 11:00 AM

Sunday, August 04, 2002

Too much Water

ugh! Now I feel sick. Time for some sleep......

posted by Andy Buchanan at 4:40 AM

Too much Beer

now I've just woke up and drank 2 litres of flat Coke, 1 cup of coffee, and almost 4 litres of water, and I'm still thirsty! Need... more... water... Hydrophilia or just chronic dehydration? I'll let you know when I've drained this stunningly enticing ice cold bottle of evian....